Confrontation.
Merriam-Webster defines confrontation as “a situation in which
people, groups, etc. fight, oppose, or challenge each other in an angry way” (www.Merriam-Webster.com/dictionary/confrontation). I used
to think a confrontation was a negative thing, something that was supposed to
be avoided at all costs, something that I did not want to ever do. The reality is that confrontation is
necessary sometimes. It does not have to
be a negative thing. The experience of
confrontation can be therapeutic for the person who confronts another. It is therapeutic for me. I am planning to confront someone.
I can remember about five years ago when I was told a truth
about myself that no one had ever told me, in the way that it was told to
me. There was a summer revival at my
church. The energetic guest pastor had
given us a week long program, each night seemingly more inspiring than the
previous. On the last evening, the
pastor took a few minutes to speak individually to everyone in attendance. There was a huge circle of people in the
sanctuary. I was in the last half of the
circle, so I had plenty of time before the pastor made his way to where I
stood. Waiting in the circle, I became
impatient. I joked with the church
member next to me. She is a fellow
Aquarian so we get along well, it is a pleasure to see her and speak with
her. We laughed so loud at one point,
someone shot us a stern look that made us sober up. I was reminded that we were waiting to hear a
personalized message and that it was a serious matter. I can be so immature at times. By the time the pastor stood before me, I
felt his disciplined concentration and he emanated spiritual strength. He looked me in the eyes and told me “You
have to find your voice”. Those words
resonated in my spirit. Energy flowed
throughout my body and I felt good about how I would begin the journey to find
my voice.
Today, I decided that I would confront a person who has been
saying negative words to me. He has been
repeating the same type of words each time I have seen him over the past (at
least) seven times. That is how many
times I could count and specific situations I could remember. There is no way I am going to speak for him
and assume that what he is saying is a joke, is in fun, is a friendly put down
(we called it capping back in the day), or a mean spirited attack (fighting
words…ahh shoot!). I decided that when I
confront him, I am going to use words that allow him the opportunity to explain
himself. Then I will go from there. The plan is that I am going to confront him
with calmness, with firmness, and with an open mind.
The confrontation is going to help me find my voice. I have decided that I am not willing to
listen to him say these negative words and not know what he means by them. I have responded in different ways but have
not been satisfied with his response and the continuity of the negative
words. I do not like it when a person is
saying negative things to me on a regular basis and I do not know what his
intention is. Once I know, I will deal
with him accordingly.
I consider it a confrontation. It is not a discussion, a talk, or a question
and answer session. It feels more like a
confrontation. There is no negative
feeling towards him, just an absolute firmness in my need to address his
behavior and hopefully get clarity to what he means. To find my voice and use it. Confrontation.
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