I feel better after Wednesday, when I was frustrated at
myself for not being able to complete a goal list for the first of the month. After writing about what I thought was
bothering me, I took a hot shower from head to toe, and unblocked my mind. Before the clock struck midnight, I was able
to produce a list.
Sometimes, we have to take a moment and focus on what we are
doing. It sounds so easy to do yet it is
a difficult thing to do. To really sit
down in silence. Unplug the laptop,
power down the iPhone, music off, refusal to speak to friends, and even
ignoring the carrier pigeon that is pecking on the window. Tap tap. Tap tap.
Fly away, son. Some people will keep trying to reach you
when you do not immediately answer the text they sent. They will escalate the methods to reach
you. When you finally respond, asking
what the heck (I said something not so PG-13) they want, they say something
totally stupid like “I didn’t hear from you so I didn’t know what was up”…with
what?...”nothing really”…so why did you blow my phone up?...”chill”…no, you
chill. Power off for real, stink face
optional.
To figure out what is bothering me, I sit quietly. All electronics off, no sounds from anything. I even bribed the pigeons to put the tapping
on hold.
I take deep breaths.
I began to relax with some stretches.
I stretched by looking up to the ceiling, chin up and then looking down,
chin to chest. I then rotated my head
slowly to the left and right. Then a
shoulder roll forward, a shoulder roll backward. I kept going until I had stretched and
loosened up my muscles.
I cleared my mind of all thoughts. The desire was to have no concern about how I
would word my feelings, I just wanted to know what the feelings were. I had confidence that I could take a raw
emotion and process it down to a business decision. Like finding a piece of compressed carbon and
polishing it until it is a sparkly, clear diamond.
When I felt ready, I let the feelings come out. How did I feel about what I was currently doing, where
was it taking me, where did I want it to take me, what was an expected
discomfort versus what was toxic on the job.
After the rough draft of my feelings poured out, I had something to work
with.
My habit is to counter negative feelings with positive
reinforcement. What I mean by that is
when I have something that is making me feel bad, down, tired, or any other
negative feeling I like to do something to counter it. For example, I was experiencing stress from
feeling like I was not being heard so I decided to counter that feeling with
speaking to colleagues in a support group.
To bounce ideas off of people who do the same work as you does wonders
for your feelings. It gives you clarity,
you are not harshly judged because these people deal with the same situations
that you do, and you feel lifted up. You
can speak freely and you can speak often.
You can find a shoulder to lean on and you can strengthen yourself for
when you will be the shoulder to someone else.
After letting off the steam, I was ready to get myself
stronger. I called a friend that I trust
to tell every dirty detail and we had a nice dinner. She listened and let me speak
uninterrupted. She laughed with me. She asked questions and provided me with
wisdom from her own experiences.
Needless to say, I am brand new after making my list,
relaxing my mind, and speaking to my support group. I will continue on the road to finding ways
to bring myself closer to my goals. There is no way I want to let stress defeat
me. I am encouraged and I hope that I
was able to encourage someone else.
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