Monday, July 6, 2015

Confrontation and Finding My Voice

Confrontation.

Merriam-Webster defines confrontation as “a situation in which people, groups, etc. fight, oppose, or challenge each other in an angry way” (www.Merriam-Webster.com/dictionary/confrontation).   I used to think a confrontation was a negative thing, something that was supposed to be avoided at all costs, something that I did not want to ever do.  The reality is that confrontation is necessary sometimes.  It does not have to be a negative thing.  The experience of confrontation can be therapeutic for the person who confronts another.  It is therapeutic for me.  I am planning to confront someone.

I can remember about five years ago when I was told a truth about myself that no one had ever told me, in the way that it was told to me.  There was a summer revival at my church.  The energetic guest pastor had given us a week long program, each night seemingly more inspiring than the previous.  On the last evening, the pastor took a few minutes to speak individually to everyone in attendance.  There was a huge circle of people in the sanctuary.  I was in the last half of the circle, so I had plenty of time before the pastor made his way to where I stood.  Waiting in the circle, I became impatient.  I joked with the church member next to me.  She is a fellow Aquarian so we get along well, it is a pleasure to see her and speak with her.  We laughed so loud at one point, someone shot us a stern look that made us sober up.  I was reminded that we were waiting to hear a personalized message and that it was a serious matter.  I can be so immature at times.  By the time the pastor stood before me, I felt his disciplined concentration and he emanated spiritual strength.  He looked me in the eyes and told me “You have to find your voice”.  Those words resonated in my spirit.  Energy flowed throughout my body and I felt good about how I would begin the journey to find my voice.

Today, I decided that I would confront a person who has been saying negative words to me.  He has been repeating the same type of words each time I have seen him over the past (at least) seven times.  That is how many times I could count and specific situations I could remember.  There is no way I am going to speak for him and assume that what he is saying is a joke, is in fun, is a friendly put down (we called it capping back in the day), or a mean spirited attack (fighting words…ahh shoot!).  I decided that when I confront him, I am going to use words that allow him the opportunity to explain himself.  Then I will go from there.  The plan is that I am going to confront him with calmness, with firmness, and with an open mind. 

The confrontation is going to help me find my voice.  I have decided that I am not willing to listen to him say these negative words and not know what he means by them.  I have responded in different ways but have not been satisfied with his response and the continuity of the negative words.  I do not like it when a person is saying negative things to me on a regular basis and I do not know what his intention is.  Once I know, I will deal with him accordingly.


I consider it a confrontation.  It is not a discussion, a talk, or a question and answer session.  It feels more like a confrontation.  There is no negative feeling towards him, just an absolute firmness in my need to address his behavior and hopefully get clarity to what he means.  To find my voice and use it.  Confrontation.

No comments:

Post a Comment