Making Goals

Did you ever have the kind of day where you question what you are doing?  Where you are going in life, career or personal life?

Today was that kind of day for me.  I felt so down, trying to manage my career and find something to focus on as a goal. I could not think of one goal.  On the first of each month, I try to sit down and make a list of goals.  Today, I failed.  There was not one thing I could think of to write down.  It could be that I was too busy to sit down and make the list, or it could be that today just is not the day that I should be thinking of goals.

When I was a small girl, I used to think of all these fabulous scenarios that I would find myself in as a grown up.  Maybe it's because I had Barbie dolls.  Barbie had everything.  She had a camper, an airplane, a kitchen that had a light up microwave and rotisserie with a browned plastic chicken in it.  My Barbie dressed better than me, with her high heeled pumps and pink plaid mini skirt with jacket.  I wore my sister's hand me downs, even though we had different body styles.  I also had rainbow jeans and my favorite graphic tees, but still, Barbie was coordinated where I was just wearing clothes.  There's a difference.  I wanted to be more like Barbie.  She was always smiling.  She worked wherever she wanted, be it as an airline pilot or the flight attendant.  She had sports cars, a faithful boyfriend, and friends that smiled the same frozen plastic grin.  The child that was me would imagine working wherever I wanted and whatever I wanted to be just like Barbie.  Real life would dictate what I was doing and where I was going in my career and personal life.

So I am downshifting gears right now, ending the work day and giving attention to my goals list.  Before I go to sleep, I want to at least start a list.  I do not want to have a day that I give up on myself.  Even if it says "to be continued".

Barbie would never give up.  Hell, that's why she drives a red Corvette.