Monday, July 27, 2015

Don't Be So Sensitive...

Seems like nowadays, there is an increased sensitivity people have when reading online comments.  The post can be innocent enough, but there is the chance someone will find offense to a word written or a perceived tone to what was written.  I am conscious of the ability to offend even when I do not intend to offend.   I do not expect others to agree with me.  There is a part of me that believes that anyone can respectively post comments online and be respected in agreement or disagreement.  Reciprocity.  The pin that burst my bubble was a response to a comment I wrote on an online support group page.

Earlier this month I joined an online support group for healthcare workers.  I read the website articles and found them useful.  I clicked on tabs and found that the website offers community resources, referrals to local agencies, and an online support group.  I thought it was a great idea to join the online support group.  A place to share what we do, how we do it, tricks of the trade, and a place to safely vent.  That was the vision I had in my head of what the online support group would be like.

An anonymous profile person wrote a post about how he was going to travel with a loved one who was incontinent.  The person asked for tips from the support group.  I responded first.  I thought I provided good tips and ended the small paragraph with “happy travels”.  My day went on.  One notification later and I was being scolded for using a term that was deemed offensive.  The person scolding me was not the anonymous profile person, she was someone in the online support group.  She used caps and exclamation points.  I thought she went too far by writing a paragraph to correct me.  The post was asking for travel tips, not attack a word day.  Even when I stood by my word, acknowledging the offense and maintaining my use of a medical term, I felt like this person took it too far.

After the experience of unintentionally offending someone online, I learned that I should always feel comfortable posting online, I have no control over how other people read my post, and ultimately it is up to me to be respectful, thoughtful, and stand by my words.

I have to feel comfortable with how I express myself online.  There are words that I use from my background in healthcare.  There are words that I use when expressing happiness over a television show, Netflix series, and music artist.  There are times when the words are a serious tone, a lighthearted tone, a silly tone, and so many more tones.  Don’t get me started on emoticons.  Love em.  If someone finds offense with what I wrote, I have to be able to trust that I was appropriate to the topic when I expressed myself.  I have to know what my intention was and be comfortable with the tone in which I commented.  Most importantly, I  have to know when to apologize.

The people who read my posts will interpret the post with their own thought processes.  So many factors go into how someone can read a comment.  If the person has a great experience with the topic you post, they will likely have a great feeling after reading the comment.  Sometimes they will even give it a like.  If the person has a negative experience with the topic you post, they can reply with a rant about how what you said is wrong, stupid, or otherwise unlike.   There is no way I may plan on how to write a post that does not offend anyone.  How people read the post is out of my control.  I can control me.

When I post online, I try to use words and a tone that is respectful.  That is what I do.  I am not the type of person to just go in on a rude rant free for all, using words meant to hurt.  That is just not what I do in person or online.   With the online support group post, I wrote what I thought was helpful.  I wanted to let the anonymous profile person know there are products to buy and take along with him to make his trip as enjoyable as possible.  I stand by my words, my intention, and my ability to help a fellow healthcare worker.


I enjoy reading posts, comments, and replying with my thoughts. 

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